About Dr. Cantrell

My Philosophy: Life Doesn’t Start When You’re "Fixed"

Many of us spend our lives in a "waiting room." We tell ourselves we’ll finally take that risk, find that partner, or be truly happy once we’ve stomped out our flaws, controlled our anxiety, or reached a state of perfection.

I’m here to tell you that the waiting room is an illusion. You can start living a life aligned with your values right now, exactly as you are—imperfect, perhaps a little "broken" as we all are in some way, and entirely human.

From the State to the Self

My path to this work wasn’t linear. I spent years in the world of state policy, overseeing Medicaid and mental health, developmental disability and substance use services in North Carolina, and later in corporate health insurance and data analytics. I’ve managed teams through funding cuts and navigated the "real world" struggles of balancing a demanding career with family life.

In those boardrooms and government offices, I learned a vital lesson: We cannot mandate the world to follow our rules. Whether it's a colleague who doesn't pull their weight or a system that feels unfair, judging others by our own standards is a recipe for unhappiness. I help my clients apply Hanlon’s Razor, paraphrased—don’t attribute to malice what can be explained by others just being human—to find peace in a world they cannot control.

The Power of the "Reframing"

I am passionate about helping people stop shaming the parts of themselves they like the least. What you might call "too emotional," I see as a profound capacity for empathy. What you label as "controlling," I see as a talent for organization and reliability.

My goal is to help you stop the "Control Agenda"—especially in relationships with adult children and relatives. We often try to "fix" those we love because we feel vulnerable, but true connection comes from navigating boundaries with respect and empathy, recognizing that every relationship is a 50/50 partnership.

A Lesson in Surrender

My perspective was deepened a few years ago when I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer. When side effects prevented me from taking preventive medication, I was forced to confront the ultimate lack of control over my own health.

That experience taught me the vital difference between pain (which is inevitable) and suffering (which we create by resisting reality). I learned to let go of the illusion of control and instead focus on the "goodness" available in each day.

How I Can Help You

Whether you are navigating a major life transition, managing chronic disease, or simply tired of the "vicious cycle" of avoiding emotional pain, I am here to help you:

• Identify your core values so you can stop chasing society's expectations.

• Set and respect boundaries that preserve your most important relationships.

• Transform your "weaknesses" into assets.

• Accept life as it is while discerning exactly what you can do to build the life you want.